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You Got Guru'd

50 Signs That “You Got Guru’d”

OK, so what exactly does the expression, “You Got Guru’d” actually mean?

Well, if you’ve been guru’d it basically means that you’ve unwittingly been misled by a piece of misinformation, myth, biased and groundless opinion, unfounded dogma, or straight-out lie, created and/or spread by some health and fitness “guru”.

“Guru”, in this sense, doesn’t carry the usual definition of a master or teacher. Rather, this guru is an unqualified, self-proclaimed expert who dupes his listeners and followers by coming across as knowledgeable, when he’s in fact actually operating from total ignorance, self-interest, or both.

A guru will base his advice and opinions on blind bias, rumor, pseudoscience, bro-science, and whatever else happens to suit him, rather than logic, open-minded research and scientific fact.

The expression itself, You Got Guru’d, (and therefore the verb, to “guru”) is the brainchild of Dr. Layne Norton, who created the term as part of his active involvement in uncovering the harmful lies and misinformation that are so pervasive in the health and fitness industry.

The sad fact is that gurus within the health and fitness industry can often times be more highly-recognized and more influential than their legitimate counterparts. This makes the problem of their existence all the more damaging and frustrating for people trying to navigate their way through this often confusing field.

To help you avoid ever suffering the misfortune of being guru’d again, here then are 50 signs that at some time in your near or distant past, You Got Guru’d:

  1. You avoid weight training or only work out with light weights to avoid getting bulky.
  2. You stick to a low protein diet to prevent damaging your liver or kidneys.
  3. You only eat chicken breast, brown rice, sweet potato, broccoli, tilapia, and other approved “clean” foods.
  4. You avoid certain exercises because they shorten your muscles.
  5. You only exercise in your “fat burning zone” to burn as much fat as possible in a cardio session.
  6. You don’t eat fruit because you’re trying to lose weight.
  7. You don’t eat carbs after a certain time of the day because they will make you fat.
  8. You perform squats on a Bosu ball or Swiss ball to make them more functional.
  9. You do Pilates to get long muscles.
  10. You use an ab exercise device to lose your belly and trim your waistline.
  11. You bought into any product or book based on an endorsement by Dr. Oz.
  12. You eat according to your blood type.
  13. You avoid diet soda because it fools your brain into believing it’s sugar.
  14. You follow a diet whose name begins with “The” and ends with “Diet”.
  15. You eat certain vegetables because they have “negative calories”.
  16. You do fasted cardio to burn more fat.
  17. You sip BCAAs or protein shakes during your workout.
  18. You avoid squatting because it damages your knees.
  19. You maintain a low salt diet to prevent water retention.
  20. You own a “shake weight”.
  21. You use body wraps to burn off fat.
  22. You replace whole food meals with diet shakes to lose weight.
  23. You believe you won’t gain fat from one unrestricted cheat meal.
  24. You have never been tested for a gluten intolerance but avoid gluten nevertheless.
  25. You use detox products.
  26. You do specific exercises and/or eat certain foods that increase testosterone and/or growth hormone to build more muscle all over.
  27. You eat raw food because cooking destroys the protein.
  28. You panic if you don’t have a protein shake within 30 minutes of the end of your workout.
  29. You never eat egg yolks because they’re too high in cholesterol.
  30. You bought a product from an infomercial.
  31. You take drugs to compete in Bikini.
  32. Your diet is making you miserable.
  33. You eat fish because it thins your skin.
  34. You avoid certain exercises because they’re too dangerous.
  35. You don’t work out for longer than one hour to avoid your body becoming catabolic.
  36. You eat as much as you like because you’re eating the “right” foods.
  37. You have a meal every 2 to 3 hours to keep your metabolism fast.
  38. You only eat low-GI carbs.
  39. You don’t take Creatine because it damages your kidneys.
  40. You work out your abs every day.
  41. You take supplements that make you get bigger and stronger.
  42. You do Yoga for fat loss.
  43. You target certain areas of your body to lose fat from.
  44. You don’t use gym machines because they’re not functional.
  45. You avoid all white carbs because they’re too “starchy” and make you fat.
  46. You avoid training any muscle group twice in a week to prevent overtraining.
  47. You get information from websites or other sources that focus on abs.
  48. You avoid sugar because it’s toxic.
  49. You eat specific foods that burn belly fat.
  50. You bought a product based on results shown in testimonials.

I’m sure that reading through these, you’ll have a good laugh at some of the points listed. These are all very real however, and surprisingly commonly-believed as well. As a matter of fact, in researching ideas for this list I actually consulted several guru websites which are promoting many of these very points as factual.

On the other side of the coin, you may at the same time be surprised at other points that are on the list. Perhaps you believe some of them to be valid, and are even doing some of them yourself right now. If that’s the case, there’s no shame in that. Every single one of us has been guru’d at one time or another. Being guru’d is unfortunately an integral part of the whole learning process in the fitness world.

This is by no means a comprehensive list. I’m sure that you can think of more myths, falsehoods and other pieces of guru nonsense that you’ve come across at one time or another. Perhaps one where you got guru’d yourself.

If you have any others, please add to the list by submitting them in the comments below, I’d love to hear them!

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Fabian

Fabian

Fabian Colussi is a women's Bikini and Figure competition coach for natural athletes, certified personal trainer and gym instructor, and women's fitness consultant. He also has a background in martial arts, is an NLP Master Practitioner, and has a certification in Hypnotherapy. Fabian is a co-owner and co-founder of Million Dollar Baby Fitness.

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2 Comments

  1. Nate
    13 September, 2014

    Hah. Good article. Tweeted it

    Reply
    • Gloria
      Gloria Kaneko
      13 September, 2014

      Thanks Nate! 🙂

      Reply

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